The hand is huge and hers feels so tiny, why? It’s all so familiar but not, the voices are the same, the words, he says ‘I do’ and she does also. But why is she agreeing, no she doesn’t want this, he’s going to leave her. He won’t stand by her, he won’t protect her, she knows that now, she wants to run, somebody stop this, he doesn’t love me, she knows that now, and she just wants someone to get her away from here. The preacher says that he can kiss the bride, but she doesn’t want a kiss, she just wants out. She looks up as two huge hands wrapped in white are lifting her veil, it’s all becoming clear somehow. From the corner of her eye, she sees her again, Grace, her daughter, her little angel, and she has an enormous smile and then suddenly the veil is gone, she clenches her eyes closed, she doesn’t want to see this, she knows what will happen, somebody make this STOP! She feels his hand on the back of her head, her face is moving forward and up. She uses all the strength she can. I could hear him objecting to address them as 'mistress' andhaving to bob a curtsy each time he had to acknowledge a command.I turned to him and told him sharply, "You better do as you're told,girl, or you'll be in big trouble."He started to say something and I continued "The only thing I want tohear from you is 'Yes, mistress.' Is that understood?" Yes," he replied."Yes, WHAT?" I answered, raising my voice."Yes, Mistress," he said."AND," I admonished.He bobbed a curtsey."Good girl," I praised.Somehow, I was enjoying the reversed roles. With him in a maid's garb, hewas now my inferior and it felt wonderful to have him defer to me ratherthan the other way round. I would enjoy this, while it lasted.The 'new' William sat with his back to the door as I knocked on the doorto be let out. I put on a bit of a display for the guard as I went byhim, crying about how awful I felt as this would be the last time I sawmy husband alive. The other ladies were sympathetic and tried to calm me.My maid.
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