"Um, I was planning on just changing tops, Tommy." Oh," I said as I slid my hands up to cup her bra-covered breasts. "Good, I don't want you to ever change anything down there," I said as I moved my hands down to her hips.She playfully slapped at my hands. "You goof! Let go, I want to comb my hair," she said as she walked to her bathroom and flipped on the lights. "Dammit, I hate that hairspray!" What's the problem?" I walked up behind her."Look at my mirror. That new spray I tried just fogs it up."I looked and, sure enough, there was a slight coating on the glass.And suddenly there was light! I grabbed Beth spun her around in a happy dance and kissed her—hard. "You, my love, are a genius!" Tommy! What are you doing?! What are you talking about?" Beth, I think you just solved my problem with the pictures your dad wants!" I did? How?"I sprayed some more of the hairspray on one end of the mirror, grabbed the flashlight Beth kept in her nightstand, turned the lights off in the bathroom,. Where is it safe for my eyes to peer?I forego my usual hobby and just lie back on my blanket. As I look up at the changing clouds, I realize there is something I must do. The "old me" was insecure about her body. And I don't want to be the "old me" anymore. There are no men here to judge me. I have nothing to fear from these women. I look around to see if anyone is watching. Stop it! Just do it. Quit being a pussy. And with that last thought, I lift my shirt up and over my head and place it on the ground beside me. Next, I unhook my bra. I tentatively glance around and to my relief, no one is paying me any attention. I lie back and watch as my ample, plump breasts leisurely spread out. Calmness consumes me and I drift off to sleep.I return to this pond of serenity every day for three weeks. After a few days, I bring my laptop and start writing, or more journaling I guess. As thoughts enter my head, I jot them down - any random thought. Writing becomes a catharsis for this lost woman.
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