My focus was on being a single father. But once Monica was 17, I started giving myself permission to explore that side of me once again. After all, I wasn't getting any younger. I decided to post a personal ad on craigslist. Shortly after that, I met a young girl named Tanya. She was only 21 years old. Despite our 30 year age difference, we seemed to hit it off. Our first date was very casual. We met for coffee, where I explained that I had a 17-year old daughter who was in high school and would be heading to college next year. I said that I wasn't sure what to do with myself after being a full-time dad for 10 years. Tanya was very sweet, very innocent, and very different from other women in my life. On our second date, I invited her to the house. I instructed her to come in the back door, the direct entrance to my bedroom so that Monica wouldn't see her. I showed her around and gave her the tour. Then, I offered her a drink from the liquor cabinet. "So this is my place," I said.. Now all she felt was nerves. 'Oh my fuck, he's going to be here any second,' she thought while running her fingers through her hair doing absolutely nothing for it.Sissy had waited for this for a long time. She looked up and out the window to see the standpipe beaming down, almost like it was welcoming her back. This place even smelled familiar. She had been here many times but this time was different.Her thoughts were interrupted by headlights shining in her face. A car was pulling up the dark driveway towards the top of the hill.Sissy's heart dropped into her stomach. She could barely breathe. Her face began to turn a flush pink as she nearly bit a hole through her lip. Her hands clutched the steering wheel so hard that they were nearly numb.Sissy felt her whole body go numb and it felt as if she was melting away right here, right now at the top of this hill at 10:03 pm on a Sunday night. Her lips were quivering as she spoke, barely audible she whispered desperately, "Ben."Sissy.
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