Real honest curiosity. Later came a certain shame, I come from quite a religious family and there was not a lot of room for free sexuality. Sexuality was something for that certain person you are going to marry. This got me always really afraid. I also turned more inward in puberty and became quite shy, having lots of hidden fantasies. I would sit a lot behing my laptop watching oral sex videos. I never really knew where it came from. I always had it. I always felt that have vaginal sex felt strange to me. As if that should be for loving only and that oral sex is more lust.When I was 15 orso I bought a dildo and this might sounds weird. I never used it on my pussy. Never even in the years later. It just doesn’t feel right. I wanted to feel how it would be to suck a man and masturbate. Every morning and evening I would put the dildo in my mouth and play with myself until I reached an orgasm. I would practice going deeper in my throat enjoying the gagging feeling and masturbate. I. He rose and went to the window and followed the instructions he had typed."You see gentlemen, if Paul types something, he knows what it says and can do it if it tells him what to do. He uses the same method if instructions appear on his computer screen. He highlights them which serves the same purpose of typing them out. I taught him that."What I haven't been able to teach him is to think for himself or express his emotions. If I type, 'Paul, I love you, do you love me?' Nothing, no response at all. If I typed, 'Paul I love you, hug me if you do.' I would get a hug, but I still wouldn't know if he loved me, for the love is an emotion and it isn't part of something he is knowledgeable about."The reason I wanted him tested was to find out how I could develop these two things, especially emotions and the thinking for himself. Any suggestions would be helpful. He has minimal emotions and I have been around him enough so I can read his feelings. The only speech he makes is the "Yaakk" you.
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