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”Went out last night and got really wasted.I woke up this morning next to a fat old bird who was snoring.So, at least I got home OK.Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control in Athens airport.“Nationality?” asks the immigration officer.“German,” she replies.“Occupation?”“No, just here for a few days.”As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Parking Officer’s funeral, a voice from insidescreams: “I’m not dead, I’m not dead. Let me out!”The Vicar smiles, leans forward, sucking air through his teeth and mutters, “Too late, mate, the paperwork’s already done.”I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night.Or “foreplay” as she likes to call it.After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the missus were going to commit suicide together yesterday.Strangely enough, however, once she killed herself I started to feel a lot better.So I thought - sod it, I’ll soldier on.I woke up this morning at 8 and could sense something was wrong.I got downstairs and found. Rita nodded."I suppose that's true," she said. She smiled and grinned. "Thanks." She turned and sashayed out of the store.They were all speechless for a long moment. Then, finally, the wizard spoke."Normally whomever picks up the card will have no memory of their previous self. They will simply become a new person - a buxom, beautiful young woman of a random ethnicity who will only feel truly comfortable in the warm embrace of Tri Delta Nu. They'll not only be members, they'll be loyal members who will have you to thank for - well, for their whole life. You'll find that those boxes are bottomless, so these cards will always be there for you," he said."Wow," Lisa said, finally speaking. Sally just nodded. "How much?"The wizard smiled. "For you two girls, it will be $37.89 for the two of them. With some rules."The girls counted, and that was exactly how much cash they had between them."What rules?" Sally asked."First of all, whoever picks up these boxes will own them. Their names will.
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