" I lift you and take you to the bathroom where I wash you completely. None of the ropes are removed. All ropes are adjusted again, now bringing them to maximum tension. Some of that feels good, some of it makes things more difficult. Your ability to breathe for example is now limited and you are being forced to concentrate on it. It takes you over ten minutes to make it to the living room and when you get there you are already sweating again. You smell hot coffee and see me enjoying breakfast. There is nothing you can do but sit next to me and for what is about to happen. The impact of suddenly not being allowed to eat after several days of relative luxury is quite severe and makes you feel very dependent and increases the effects of your restraints. I take my time to finish breakfast, caress your hair every now and then in the way I would caress a dog that is sitting next to me. You feel very, very small and would want to crawl on my lap and push yourself against me as close as you. Heard a.noise.”Momma grunted. “We’ll discuss this later.” My shoulders slumped and I turned towards the hall. “About that noise you heard…” I sighed. “Just a woodpecker.” “Next time you hear it…”I heard Papa come out of the bathroom and ran for the hills— or in this case the safety of my bedroom. Momma and I never did have that discussion, nor did she tell Papa about my spying. Every time I heard them going at it… Well you can guess what I did. I grew a bit over the years since; broke six foot at f******n and gained a good bit of muscle thanks to all the work Papa made me do. My hair was growing darker and I was sprouting a good collection of freckles. “I want another baby before I’m too old to have it, Charles.” “It wasn’t this hard the first time.” “I was fifteen, and you were twenty-two, of course it was easier then.” “We’ve been trying for four years, Macey, I don’t know what else to do.”They seemed to get more and more frustrated with every month that passed. Mom cried a lot.
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