However I also said a few things that were less positive about your ability to fellate me properly.’ I cast my eyes down sadly (‘Improper Fellatri Fail to Fellate Properly’ as is often said) but he corrected me. ‘Nope. Not now, Caitlyn. Big girl now. Look right at me as you tell me what I said.’ I looked at him as well as I could, feeling deliciously shamed and almost lightheaded. ‘You said my depth and rhythm were bad. You said I didn’t keep it wet enough.’ ‘Yes, and that your finish was weak.’ I nodded glumly. ‘Now tell me in your own words about yourself as a cocksucker. How do you do it with Julian? Be as detailed as you can be. The idea is that I can match what you tell me with my own experience of your mouth and get a more rounded view of what’s going on in that pretty little head when you are prettily giving a little head.’ See? How he made me laugh! How he smiled and said the nicest things even though he was leading me to talk about something that is soooooo embarrassing for. "Just where we are in our lives and how we got here." Quite a ride you're having, Kimmy," she said."Yeah, it is," I said. "You're a big part of that. The good part." I didn't know what I was getting myself into when I asked for you to come live with me, you know." Aunt Jen and I had previously had this conversation. I can understand. So many messed up people on the planet these days. I was in a perfect position to be one of them. Could've been. Wasn't.When Mom started going off the tracks at the end, I was scared. Angry. Could've easily slipped into drugs and sex. It's not like living with Mom didn't give me plenty of opportunity. Mom really didn't act like she cared and there were plenty of men who would've been glad to help me along.I had that one memorable incident with one of Mom's guys who thought a little push might get me going in his direction. It was horrible. I still get squicked out about it.Mom was stoned out of her gourd on a cocktail of drugs and alcohol that night. I.
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