. That won't do...Excuse me, would you have one in this size and colour but with a left handmole? No? Well, get out of that Nick and try... Let's see... How aboutthis one?"This dream played itself in several variants through the night untilfinally the dream Neera said "That will do, I think. Do you like it? Doesit fit under the arms? And I rather like its wide shoulders, don't you?A nice contrast with that narrow waist and girly hips and posterior,no?..." And without giving me any chance of replying to any of thesequestion, or of pointing out that I had no idea what the body looked likebecause there were no mirrors in sight, she turned to a shadowy assistant:"Right, we'll take this one. Do you have to pack it or can he keep iton?" I ask you!The upshot was that I woke up almost believing that I might find myselfwearing a female body purchased in the dream. Neera was still asleep nextto me, despite the sunshine pouring in through the window, and so I wasrather cautious in my. Life had been so cruel these last couple years and she had a hard time finding the happy, beautiful woman she used to be. Stress and loss and hurt had led to her self-destruction. Drugs and alcohol were on the verge of taking over her entire life and she knew this, and wanted him to save her from herself. Night after night of guilt and sadness had brought her to this place of desperation. The need to be punished by him was so strong. Not by anyone else, but by him. There was something in him that she craved; like she'd known him forever. Her ability to be completely open to her desires, and the level of his desires that she so easily understood, and connected with. Yet, at the same time he was a stranger to her. She wanted to feel every part of him, inside and out. She wanted more than he could ever give her, and she knew that, so she tried to fight her feelings. Her moral obligations kept her grounded, and she fought the thought of him daily. Sometimes she even got angry.
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