Mom said she was proud ofher for standing by me, but that confrontation and violence were thecause of the problem, not the solution. I had to make this decision on myown and live with it.I tried to picture myself as a boy and couldn't. It wasn't the clothes orthe hair or the makeup that made me want to be a girl. We had a dresscode in school and girls could only wear pants in the winter under theirskirts or dresses, but I wore jeans, plain tops, socks, and penny loafersor sneakers on the weekends, I pulled my hair back in a pony tail most ofthe time and wearing makeup was reserved for special dress-up occasions. The problem was that I didn't have anything in common with boys. Therewere a few in my class who were quiet and shy, but most of them wereloud, crude and physical. I could never be like that. Great, I thought. Iwas doomed. Either I would be teased and tormented as a boy, because Iwas a sissy, or I would be teased and tormented as a girl, because I wasa queer. I started to. " Oh, that," Mom said. "Don't worry about that. Your punishment is longover. In fact, I'm feeling guilty for doing that to you. I think I got alittle carried away, maybe more than a little. From now on you can dowhatever you want. No more punishments. And, again, I'm sorry for thatstupid punishment." Don't be sorry, don't feel guily, it's OK, I didn't mind," I said,feeling sorry myself that it was over. I left the room.I came back again, still only wearing the towel. This time, though, Iwaited in the kitchen until I heard the commercial come on. Only then didI enter the room. I said, "Sorry, Mommy, but I need some help. My fingersare having too much trouble opening my drawers."Randy volunteered to come help. On the way I asked him, "Randy, did youguys take pictures of me while I was on the table unconscious?" No, of course not," he said.I showed him which drawers I needed opened - the ones I knew had pyjamasinside them. My drawers had latching, lockable handles. They weren'tlocked,.
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