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She told me, with relish, of her new friends she’d made in recovery. We discussed the revelations that recovery offers and the evolutions of our own emotional and spiritual selves. She told me of just about every aspect of her life that had been positively impacted by her recovery. She still suffered from the anxiety but her friends were understanding and supported her through the panic attacks. Indeed it occurred to me that even just her being in a crowded dance hall was evidence that she was managing her anxiety with ease. It was then that our eyes met and I noticed that there was some trouble there. She never could hide her feelings, her eyes gave her away every time. It was also then that I realized that there was a very important piece of her life that she had intentionally left out of conversation. I held her eyes in mine and could tell she knew that I was onto her. I didn’t have to ask. Tears brimmed on the edges of her eyelashes as she tumbled head long into the story of her. Rather than the pretty girl that I had seen yesterday and the daybefore, I saw my regular self, me. This wouldn't have been a problem initself, however I was clearly wearing a girl's leotard. I could feel asense of shame coming over me, a feeling that I had thought that I hadbecome immune to. I guess that I had become a bit spoilt. After thatwig, I certainly didn't appear like a girl without it. Turning away inshame, I hurried back to my room to retrieve it. It was shocking tothink that I had spent the last fifteen minutes outside, visible toanyone, looking like that.Much like my tights, it was a bit tricky to put on. Previously mygrandma had applied it, tying it up into a bun as well. Despite beingable to get it on correctly, the bun was the real struggle. After a fewminutes of getting nowhere, I returned to Faye's room to see if myreflection could help with this.Back in front of her mirror, it was phenomenal how much of a differencethat the wig made, even without its usual bun. I.
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