I dropped the ring. It struck the casket and rolled, circling around to a stop directly over Julie's heart. "Let Donna seek forgiveness here." I whispered, "From me she would find none. Not any more." I knew I should wait and greet those who had come, but it wasn't in me. My heart and soul and all I cared for in this world lay at the bottom of that hole. Nothing and nobody mattered anymore. I turned and walked away into my own sort of darkness. I got into my car and drove away. I thought about going to a bar. Drowning my sorrow in the bottle but that meant dealing with people, people who new what had happened and would want to offer their sympathy. That I couldn't take. I just wanted to get stupid drunk and forget, at least for a little while. The house was dark. Karen's car was in the drive. I wondered how she beat me home, then I remembered she rode with me. "I'm sure someone will give her a ride." I thought, as I walked into the house. I went straight to the basement, to my. I wish things had taken a different path. It would have beenwonderful to have had a daughter these past few years. Now all I can dois think about the advice from Ms. Lee and Ms. Wood, and try to do thebest for you." What are you talking about Mom?" I know what the counselor told you today. Ms. Lee said that you shouldhave been selected as a candidate for reassignment as a girl back whenyou were in third grade."You probably did not understand what was going on back then, and even ifyou understood you would have forgotten the details by now. I have neverbeen able to bring myself to talk to you about all this. Forgive me. Youhave such beautiful hair, if only..."Kyle tensed up."It is true that during first through third grade you were an outstandingstudent, and your teachers noted that you had definite feminine traitslike preferring to play with the girls and avoiding all rough play. Sowhy did you not get reassigned? You were sick at home the day thecounseling team visited your school to.
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