Lloyd when I spoke to my mother. He saw me when he walked in the door, gave me a small smile and asked, ‘Should I have something to do for a while?’ ‘You didn’t do anything. I’m so furious.’ ‘Would you like to talk about it?’ Before I answered, he sang, ‘That’s what friends are for.’ I didn’t give him the chance to sing that I should keep smiling. My hands were in the air, muscles clenched. I yelled, ‘Aaahhh.’ He walked over and put his arms around me, which was very courageous. Someone with my body language was more likely to punch him than to relax. He got lucky. I finally calmed down enough to fill him in. I stood waiting for him to curse my parents along with me but, of course, he stood there and thought about it. ‘Very clever,’ he said almost with admiration. ‘What the hell are you talking about?’ I asked with no admiration whatsoever. ‘He’s going along with the wedding, letting you marry the guy he doesn’t approve of. He’s going to cover all the costs and he doesn’t want my. .." Rachel, this is Colleen," I said. "We were about to have lunch Rachel,would you like to join us?"She said yes, and the three of us went into a small restaurant."You're even prettier than the last time I saw you Colleen!" I try."Colleen was trying to be very calm about this, but I could see that shewas getting nervous, so after lunch we said goodbye to Rachel and wenthome. I did not push her to try on anything, nor did I tell her tochange. If Colleen wanted to change she would. I sat at the kitchentable alone, wondering how I would cope with this. We have family toconsider, friends and neighbors close by, some of whom might not be verykind to Colleen. Yet, if I said no to her dressing up, she would onlyretreat into silence and do it anyway. That much was clear. If I helpedher, in how to dress and some mannerisms, even just a little, she mighthave a chance to grow up unafraid to be herself. It wasn't simply amatter of if I would help her, I had to help her. I could restrict thetimes.
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