With Christa and Meredith up to their ears in wedding preparations ever since they’d come back to Mount Hill, he’d had plenty of chances to discover just how out-of-touch he was. He glanced Brandon—or rather, the back of his head, which was all that was visible outside the massive tuxedo. He doesn’t seem confused. It’s been smooth sailing for him, really. He fought a scowl. The back of your head doesn’t have to look so insufferably smug about it. Christa peeked at him. ‘Is everything okay, Zach? You’ve been… Jumpy, recently.’ Zach kept his face impassive with an effort. ‘It’s just, you know, the wedding. We’ve all been jumpy, recently.’ Christa gave a rueful laugh. ‘Yeah, no kidding. Well, at least we get to relax now. A nice, sunny week at a four-star hotel with nothing on our minds.’ Nothing on your mind, maybe. The reception dinner was plagued by the traditional delays—servitors tripping over each other, the wrong foods ready at the wrong times, the DJ’s equipment throwing sparks.. The judge said it made her sick just to look at me. I lost. House, car, alimony, but most importantly, I lost all rights to my 10 year old daughter, Cecilia. My angel in life. No visitation rights, not even supervised. So now I’m standing at one of my job sites, ready to jump my 6’1′ black haired, medium build body into a cement mixer. The only thought preventing me from leaping is that I don’t want Cecilia to have a suicide for a father. I take a step back. I am determined to be the best non-existent father possible. Since Janine sold the house when she got remarried, I don’t have a phone number. I only have the address to her house due to my child support obligations. I write Cecilia a letter a week and pour my heart out in each one. I explain how life is for me, ask about hers, and do my best to show through words that I love her. I’ve never received a response. I spare no expense in gifts for birthday, Christmas, and any other holiday. For Christmas, I always sent her a thousand.
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