She couldn’t even fathom looking in Julia’s eyes and telling her all that she had gone through trying to vanquish a demon that nearly conquered her. In those thoughts, she remembered the emptiness, the irresolvable fear that gripped her every moment. Lauren opened her mouth, found that the air was dry and that she couldn’t form the words. And for a second, Lauren disappeared into herself, the fear bubbling up inside her heart tearing at the scars in her heart that she had worked for so long to heal. The digital numbers changed again and again to Julia. She knew she was loosing Lauren in her arms. She pulled the white sheets around them, trying to comfort Lauren, hoping that having her closer would shake Lauren from this self-protecting stupor. Fighting her tears and growing fears that Lauren had locked that part of herself so far away, Julia kissed Lauren’s forehead. ‘I know this is hard for you Lauren. I want to know. If not now, soon Love, let me in, let me help you keep this. Der Butler deutete meine Pause richtig. "Ja, wenn, dann k?nnen nur Siein das Zimmer kommen. Sie haben auch dir richtige Statur, wenn auchetwas zu viel Gewicht." Zu viel Gewicht?" sagte ich fassungslos. Ich empfand mich als schlank,hatte einen BMI mitten im guten Bereich."Sie werden so keines der Korsetts tragen k?nnen. Und probieren Sie esbesser nicht aus, die Korsettiermaschine schn?rt sie erbarmungslos zu."Ahs, das war also das merkw?rdige Ger?t. "Aber - wie konnte er estragen?" Zuerst eine Di?t, und dann eine Fettabsaugung." Fettabsaugung?" wiederholte ich unbewusst."Einer seiner guten Freunde hat eine Privatklinik. Dort wurde esunauff?llig gemacht."##Ich lag mit ziemlichen Schmerzen im Bauch in einem Bett und wartete,dass die Schwester endlich mit einem Schmerzmittel kommen w?rde.Zwei Wochen waren vergangen. Zwei Wochen mit einer knallharten Di?t.Zwei Wochen, in denen ich dauernd daran denken musste, warum ich dieDi?t machte. ?fters stand ich vor dem Korsett und lie? fassungslos.
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