Aapke paas itna time uska kuch sahi use karo har wakt uss mobile phone me ghuse rehte ho aur usiki wajah se ye sab ho raha he.Uss wakt mujhe bhi maa par gussa aa raha tha.Mai-(gusse me)ha to kya kare? Collage to kar rahe he na?Maa-(gusseme)mai uski baat nahi kar rahi aaj jo kuch tum kar rahe the mai uske bare me bol rahi hu aur ye tum aaj nahi balki kahi dino se karte aaye ho dekha he maine sab kuch.Mai-(gusseme)ha to kya kare hum aap he batao?Maa-aur bhi options he(maa indirectly muth marne ki baat kar rahi thi)(dusri taraf dekhte huye)dekh he maine wo bhi karte huye, tumhe.Mai-(anjan bankar)konsi option ki baat kar rahi ho aap?Maa-tum achhi tarah se jante ho mai kis option ki baat kar rahi hu.Mai-ek wakt tak wo karna thik lagta he par age badhti he to usse bhi aage badhne ka maan hota he.Maa-(gusseme) usse aage ka kya? Aur kyu?Mujhe kuch samajh me nahi aa raha he?Mai-(gusseme)jane do aap nahi samjhogi iss age me iss tadaf k bare me.Maa-(gusseme)kaisi tadaf?Maine gusseme maa ka hath. I've always said that to be transgenderI would have to be completely unhappy in my male body, and certain that afemale body was exactly what I wanted. The trouble was that I wascomfortable as a man, I didn't prefer being a man, but I didn't hate it.Now in my mid-20s, I've started seeing myself as genderfluid. I had comeout to a close friend, telling her all my struggles, how I felt, and whenshe presented the word 'genderfluid' I pretty much latched onto it. I'dlove to be a girl, but I don't always mind being a boy. I like bits ofboth, but if I was given the choice, I'd be a girl.I often fantasise about various things happening to me, a magicalovernight change into a woman, or something like waking up one day andbeing the only person on earth, leaving me free to wear and do whatever Iwanted.All this has led to me being quite severely depressed, especially in myteens. More recently I've suffered from low moods, low confidence.Thoughts of suicide have always been there, not constant,.
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