It was on just such a Christmas Eve that I met Millie. The head nurse had suggested that I drop in on Millie, and then suddenly changed her mind, and advise me not to bother. Since I am always up to a challenge, Santa insisted that we visit her. Upon entering her room, Millie sat quietly in a tattered old yellow print dress while staring off into space. Somehow Santa knew that this was going to be a tough one, and called up his best, ‘Ho, Ho, Ho, and a Merry Christmas,’ only to find the focus of his attention totally unmoved. Another even heartier try was just as unsuccessful. Maybe the head nurse was right. Millie was too far gone, and there were so many more reachable ones to visit that night. Past experience had taught me that I could not get to all of them, no matter how hard I tried. Somehow the spirit of a thousand Santas compelled me to persevere, and kneel at Millie’s feet. Taking her frail hand in mine, and looking her straight into the eye, I said, ‘Millie, Santa has come. There was no fat guy looking back at me,only a teary eyed baby. A baby in a pink dress with blonde hair and blueeyes."I see a baby, but inside..." What is inside? What is Kevin holding onto that's so important? Is itthe neglect of his parents, the feelings of worthlessness, the pain ofabandonment? What is so important that you need to be twenty seven andunhappy again?"I opened my mouth, but not a word came out. But I knew I still had myconsciousness, the thing that was allowing me to have this conversationand make sense. I knew I was holding onto it as much as it was trying tohold onto me, and I knew if I ever let it go while I remained in thisform I may never let it back."Can't you see Kevin, we want you. We have love in our hearts and we wantto shower that love onto you. We want you to feel that love, to know thatthere is a place in this world for you, to raise you in love andhappiness."At this point I was crying so much I couldn't say anything, nonethelesscome up with an.
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