"This is getting..." It's too much..." she completed, looking down and feeling a bit of shame before trying to climb off him. "You're not into this like-"No..." he said, trying to keep her there. "It's not that I'm not into this. Because clearly I am very into this. I just... I don't want things to happen too fast and just being with you like this is just... it’s too perfect, and I don't want something to happen that we might regret." You think you'd regret me if we..." Carly said, unsure of the words to say here."No." Freddie looked her in her beautiful brown eyes and saw the innocence and the desire battling in her mind, and knowing the same thing was happening to him. "We're just young, and I just don't want us to do anything we aren't ready for. We have time for that. We can have plenty of time for anything and everything together. Rest of our lives maybe..."Carly smiled at him, and felt a tear building up. She leaned down and kissed him softly and innocently. "Fine... we can. It was just a dream.”“It’s not a dream, is it, Em. I died.” Her eyes flashed open and stared at me.“Don’t go there, Jacob. Please don’t go there. I can’t stand it. It was just a dream and I’ll never let you go.” Tears sparkled in her eyes and I wrapped my arm around her to hold her against me.“I thought you let go last night,” I whispered.“Tony?”“Yeah.”“You felt abandoned?”“Yeah.”“Like Francie?”“Em...”“Jacob, I didn’t fuck Tony to get back at you.” She rolled farther toward me and kissed me gently.“You won’t understand until you’re a senior and turn eighteen. All of a sudden you start seeing people as a lost opportunity. You think, ‘I’ll never have a chance to see if we could be a match.’ Or even, ‘I wish I’d fucked him before it was too late.’ Everything changes when you turn eighteen.”“The National Service?”“Yeah. It’s easy to ignore until you get the letter. It was a stupid idea passed into law by hateful old men who knew they’d never have to serve. And now we’re stuck with it and.
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