She even kept some of her office attire at our house in case she stayed over Sunday night.We knew it was time to really talk about what we were doing one Saturday night as we were lying in bed with Louisa between us.She turned to Wallace, stroked his cheek, and said, “I love you.”She then turned to me, stroked my cheek, and said the same thing.Without even looking at each other, Wallace and I said, “We love you, too.”“Wallace,” I said, “I don’t want to play the game anymore.”Louisa sat up in a panic.“You don’t want me?” she cried.I took her in my arms, patting her back gently.“No, Sweetie, you misunderstood me. We had two reasons for the game. The first was to give Wallace an outlet for his enormous sex drive, that I simply couldn’t handle. The second was to satisfy my desire to watch. With you here, we don’t need the game for that.”She pulled away from me and started to get out of bed.“So you’re just using me. Well, I’m nobody’s sex toy.”I gently pulled her back as Wallace rubbed. We haven’t had sex for the last three years of our marriage. When I eventually caught him with another woman, I moved out.Strangely, the rain also washed away my self-pity. After my tears and the rain, the sun broke through the clouds cleansing me and lifting the burden from my soul. Descending from the cliff, I had time to gather my thoughts and reflect on the lightness of being I was experiencing. I no longer blamed my ex for anything, but the question bugged me: Was I ready for another relationship with someone who wanted me just for him or herself? With my love expanding by the moment, becoming more inclusive, I needed to test myself with others.Was this just lust urging me on? Or was it the desire to share real unconditional love?______________________________“I am so glad that you’re here, Sandy,” said Charlize, my good friend. “We all missed you.” She was busy cleaning the bar area when I arrived from my meditation on the cliff. Her beautiful naked body moved in sync with the.
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