He was so logical in his approach to life that it was a relief to me, as I felt so much emotion that had no direction and being given a logical explanation for how I felt at times was exactly what I needed. But he was always withdrawn in some way. He didn’t trust me, even though I close to trusted him completely at an emotional level. In one letter I glimpsed the first real emotion – he talked about how much he loved his mother. I wished so much that that emotion, that love could be directed at me. My letters with him became more and more flirtatious, and I began to fall head over heals in love. I would imagine his strong arms holding me at night, his lips kissing the sensitive skin of my neck just below the ear. This fantasy affected my letters in the form of a young teenager that knew nothing about the sexual side of life, asking Jack tentatively questions that bordered what I felt was wrong and vulgar. As he answered my questions and seemed to even open up more because of them, I. ”“Did something bad happen?” she asked.“Just a fight with Joyce. We’ve been having issues for some time now. It’s really no big deal. It’ll likely blow over after Christmas.”“If you want to talk, I’m here.”“It’s OK, Trudy. What I really need is just to relax.”I leaned back and breathed in the steam. It was less than I liked, but Trudy had been in here first and it wasn’t my place to change things. I didn’t really want to talk at all, and that would just be more discussion that I wanted to avoid. It wasn’t about Trudy; it was about me and getting my head clear.As I let the heat and steam work out my tensions, I thought about how Connie had approached me. No matter how I looked at it, I just couldn’t see the quid pro quo that Joyce was alleging. Connie hadn’t made any demands, and had shown every sign of being a typical, nervous teenager. There was also no question about her virginity - that wasn’t something she could have faked. Maybe Connie really was that cold and calculating and.
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