Matthew didn’t apologize and he wouldn’t engage me in any argument I tried to start. After a shower, I crawled into bed and stared up at the ceiling, still horny while Matthew snored softly next to me. I masturbated thinking about what he'd done, then passed out. He was gone when I woke up.Everything seemed different at work the following day. The inherent submissiveness of my behavior the previous night wasn’t lost on me, especially in the office setting where I wielded real power. Did anyone else in the meeting have a double life like me? I stared around at my colleagues during a staff meeting. Could they tell what had happened to me? What would they think if they knew? As my gaze wandered over each of them, my spine straightened and chin lifted. I felt perverse pride and a swelling of hope. Matthew still cared enough that he wanted me to know I was his and he would fight for me. He nearly did fight Jimmy that first night and again last night. It felt primitive, but satisfying and. What makes poetry?" Not that stuff," he said defensively.With that, I shamelessly dumped on him, telling him that any words thathad a sense of rhythm, that had feeling, that painted a picture and thatcaused listeners to react made for "poetry." I even accused him of beinga snob, right in front of the whole class.Paul stood in front of the class, about to respond, but he reddened andsat down abruptly, no doubt shocked at my mean, nasty response. I wasshocked at my own actions; I had no right to do that. I had let my ownpersonal sensual, even erotic feelings for Paul and my realization that Ihad to somehow reject them get the better of me. I quickly sought to change the mood. "Now I was a little tough of Paul,"I told the class. "I feel that we need to consider poetry as a livingbeing, and that poetry need not be foreign to us. Paul's right, ofcourse, about this being not a particularly good example of poetry, sinceit is so literal and easy to understand. There is no mystery, but.
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