With Cynthia, as with the rest, I did it unthinkingly, almost religiously, while never sure of its meaning. Cynthia was the love of my life in senior year at Emory. She had stellar SAT scores ("Tests – they're so inconsequential!") and was captain of the school's fencing team ("Sometimes a foil is just a foil," she used to say). The first time I saw her, she was dueling an invisible opponent in the library parking lot, gracefully twirling her foil and lunging ahead like a crazed ballerina. A few weeks later, we were naked in bed, legs brushing idly against one another. Passion was three hours over – or was it about to begin? Kissing her lips lightly, I nudge her to lie on her stomach, which she does without opening her eyes. I want her; I savor her beauty as the tips of my fingers graze over her soft back. Cynthia sighs, and I rest my head against her shoulder, feeling the rise and fall of her respirations. Even in the dark I could see her lazy nipple, relaxed but alert to the. Forget it.”“I can’t forget it. What?”“It’s just that…we went into this with the agreement that you would have sex with someone else, I would have sex with someone else. And so far, you’re the only one that’s going to be having sex! I can’t talk to you, I can’t touch you, I can’t play with myself-I can’t do a fucking thing!”“Do you not want me to have sex with Eddie?”“What difference does it make of what I want, huh? No. Go ahead! Have sex with! Fuck him! Fuck him until your heart’s content!”Zaleah fell silent the rest of the way. When we got to the house we rented, Zaleah ran upstairs to clean up and change.“How do I look?” she asked, standing at the bottom of the stairs and spinning around.“Beautiful,” I said. She was wearing a new pair of leggings, knee-high boots, and a pink, low-cut sweater.“Is that what you’re wearing?”“I’m not the one having sex, remember?” I said walking to the door.We spent the first couple of hours walking about Pigeon Forge, taking in what sights we could..
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