Someone to takecare of me. Someone to love. She apologized for not being able to loveme the way I deserved."I deserved better, she told me. She wouldn't blame me, she said, unlessI chose to spend the rest of my life alone."But it's still too fresh. I've had good days and bad days, but the baddays are so hard. Sometimes it hurts so bad it feels like someone pulledmy heart from my chest and is crushing it to nothing...."Tamara gently reached over and placed her hand on his shoulder andpulled the small figure into her as little sobbing gasps escaped herlips. She really didn't know what to say, but ultimately decided thatshe didn't need to say anything. There the two women sat, lit by theiridescent glow of the hot tub, each lost in their thoughts.Eventually, the words came to Tamara. "She sounds like a noble andloving woman, Isabelle. I'm sure your life is richer for having met her,even if it does hurt right now."Despite the grief, it finally occurred to him that he'd told the storyfrom. . I don't really care if she likes it or has fun; if she doesn't respect me, why should I respect her? I'm not a disrespectful chauvinist pig or whatever women call men who are selfish users, but what I do isn't any more disrespectful than what they're trying to do to me. If they think they can take advantage of me, they don't deserve to be respected, so the only thing left is the basic satisfaction of primal needs . . . so I fuck them good and then I never call them again. Those aren't the kind of women that I want for a long-term relationship and I give them no more, and no less, than what they deserve.I have dated a number of women who did not fit that description, and I really don't have a jaded opinion of the opposite gender. I love women. I love good women. I want a good woman. I just don't approach a first date with any expectations. However, Connie was so different; she had my attention from the first time I met her. She was the polar opposite of the designing women who I had.
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