My eyes are closed now and I’m somewhere else, somewhere that isn’t here with you.Where I am, is unimportant, I’ve never been to this place before, I’ve never used somebody the way I’m using you.You apply gentle kisses, they aren’t obligatory ones they’re real kisses, the kind I remember from once upon a time.All I can give you are mock kisses and a smile that says “Thank you, thank you for needing me.”I always dreamed of moments like this, but I never dreamt about you.Your touches are arousing me, I’m only human after all and as your fingers find my wetness I gasp with my physical need.My legs open of their own accord as I offer a small part of myself to you selfishly. I don’t reach out to seek your hardness, I don’t care that much.Your fingers delve into my depths and I welcome them, the slick sounds I make inviting you further.“Yes” I simply utter in encouragement as you work on me, in and out you go, faster and harder each time as my moans, desperate in tone, beg you for more. I did all the research, and had all theanswers to his few questions. I explained how I didn't want to becomefemale, or even live full-time. He asked if I were gay, and I told himhow it was a non-sexual thing for me. Yes, I did tell him how sometransgendered people preferred sex with men, while others were women-only, and still others were attracted to both, or either, depending ontheir mood. For me, it was a neither thing. I just didn't feel sexualwhen I was dressed. As a man, I was always gunning for the ladies, whichI think just served to confuse him further. He didn't believe me until I showed him some of my best pictures.Even then, it took some staring before he finally accepted the picturesas mine. "I'm basically the same person, en femme, as I am as a guy," Isaid. "I don't perform, or get all campy. I don't hang out at the adultbookstore, and I don't go to the mall dressed like this." Josh nodded, with a furrow in his brow. "Are you upset, or weirded out by this?" "No. I don't.
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