By the time she was 18, the solid walls of Amata’s identity based on her family and nationality had crumbled. She knew she was not white, but it had always been difficult to fit in, a bit of caramel drowned beneath a sea of chocolate and vanilla in the sundae of middle-class Midwestern society. In elementary school, she got into playground fights which did not end as civilly as her initial introduction to Eric. In middle and high school, none of the cafeteria cliques really accepted her. She did not even feel a sense of belonging with the ‘outskirts’ kids, the pot-smokers, the skateboarders, the kids who often swapped anti-depressant medications in the same way kids used to trade twinkies for bags of chips. Even her home life had deteriorated, as her parents were constantly on the verge of divorce, with many a mismatched set of dishes as a testament of missing plates which had been smashed against the cracked walls. They were never ‘boyfriend/girlfriend’ mainly because of her. The first guard says, ‘Times up, let’s take them in.’ Now I’m starting to shake. Then in a flash, Jerry spun around and got on his knee. He looked up at me with the calmest look on his face. He slowly opened a small jewelry box with a ring in it. ‘Sandy, would you marry me? Would you be my wife?’ He set me up, that bastard set me up, that wonderful dear bastard set me up in public. I know I’ve got a shocked look on my face. I see that Jerry’s not worried now. He’s griming ear to ear. There’s so much happiness on his face. AND WE’RE NOT GETTING ARRESTED. The two guards are grinning ear to ear. The crowds all around us have gotten closer and are all quiet. There on his knee is Jerry, looking hopeful with a platinum engagement ring with a sparklely rock. It could have been a cracker-jack ring, it would have been just as wonderful. I have to have some payback now. I made my face and voice angry. ‘You bastard.’ I pause for effect and see a bit of worry came to his face. ‘I’m not taking.
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