”“Well, first of all you take all your clothes off, then I stand there staring at you and drooling like an imbecile—” Kat burst out laughing: “—Now stop that! Just be serious!”“Okay! You have to hold a pose and try not to move too much; you don’t have be a statue, but if you move a lot I have to stop and get you back the way you were. As a complete beginner, we start you off with a series of short poses, say, ten minutes each, then try to work up to longer poses in increments. I can work quite quickly but Mandy will need longer. It’s going to be pretty boring for you, too, and it can get uncomfortable; you wouldn’t think that doing nothing would be hard work, but it is. Are you still game?”“Yes, if my daughter needs this, I can get round it.”“Good! Now all you have to do is decide when and we’ll make it happen.”At ten o’clock or thereabouts the following morning, I went downstairs to open the front door for my guests. I had all the artist’s materials, so all Kat and Mandy had to do. It’s something a warrior can live by. At least, a human warrior. But for you, that mindset is just a temporary measure, isn’t it? You tell us to draw strength from our guilt, to find resolve in the fact that there is no going back, but there is a limit to the sins we can carry before they lose all meaning and individuality. Memories and consequences can’t follow you forever.”“‘Even the greatest mountain can only bear so much snow before the inevitable avalanche.’ Is that what you’re trying to say? You think that because I am immortal, I’ve lost the ability to feel remorse the way humans do. You aren’t the first person to make this mistake about the elves. To feel the weight of a human life, to know what it is worth, even if I am ending it, keeps me tied to the moment. To see value in people is what allows me to live among them.”“So you do have to remind yourself, right? You know what it’s like to force yourself to feel guilt, to find meaning to the lives of your victims, even if they.
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