I've told you that I used to intend to wait until I was married to my boyfriend before having sex with him, but it's becoming more and more difficult to wait when I'm not even engaged. If he'd already asked me, and if I knew that I was to be married in a few weeks or months, I think I could wait. But I just don't know when my marriage will happen. And because sex is on my mind all the time, I seem to see sex everywhere.Perhaps it was a mistake going to the Christmas party, because what I saw and heard there last night just made me want to give in to my boyfriend right away.So much so that I have telephoned him this morning - I couldn't help it. I hope he doesn't think I'm a cheap girl, offering up my puki to him. But I really want to see him again and let him lead me gently towards having sex with him. Even if I'm still nervous of letting go, I seem to be led onwards all the time. I just don't seem to be in control of myself any more....I keep thinking of the couple at the party who. " What you are trying to say, is that I wasn't an accident!" Siena grinned."Bloody hell, no! You will never know how much work and effort went into your ... well, your mother and I tried for nearly eight months before she became pregnant with you." So it wasn't a shot gun marriage then?" Graham asked."Oh shit no, it was the last thing your grandparents wanted, but with your mother being pregnant they couldn't keep putting obstacles in our way any longer. You know if your grandfather had had a shotgun, I think he would have shot me rather than let me marry his daughter." Why did he dislike you so much, dad?" Kaye asked."I'm not sure Baby," Kaye grinned when I used the word Baby, "I think it could have something to do with that happened out in Korea, but I'm not sure. My father and your mother's father were in the same unit out there, but my dad never made it back." What he's not telling you, is that his father was awarded a posthumous medal and your grandfather received a dishonourable.
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