Not marrying scares me. I don’t want to be alone. Freedom doesn’t hold any appeal for me, and to be honest, I think freedom is a trap from which you can never escape.”“But you believe in free will, right?”“Moral free agency, yes. But I think pure freedom damages the soul because it provides no boundaries and no limits. The risk of pure hedonism and the total focus on self. To be truly human, you have to love and you have to give of yourself to others. And I don’t mean give physical pleasure, though that can be part of it; I mean dying to self for the sake of another. Not literally, but sometimes that’s actually necessary. In the end, pure freedom is about selfishness, and selfishness is the quickest, easiest road to hell.”“Damn,” Milena sighed. “Where did that come from?”“The wisdom of the Church Fathers,” I replied. “I can’t remember which Abbot or Monk said that, but I’ve heard those concepts a number of times from priests and the bishop.”“Are you talking about sin?”“Indirectly. In. I figured that the afternoon would be quiet today. It would take a while for some to make bail and for others to figure out that that crowd had developed a police problem. I ate quietly and returned to my room. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do though did have to be out at the house in an hour for the painter.I left and went by a moderately high end outdoor furniture store. I bought some chaise lounges, a table, chairs, and umbrella, and some other chairs for outside. They would be delivered tomorrow morning. I made it there in time for the painter. He and I walked through the house going over the paint samples I had and where they would go. He gave me a price for his work plus the paint. I would pay the big box store and he would start tomorrow morning. I gave him a key. He would pick up the paint on his way in the morning. I noted the time since I wanted to be there. I would watch to be sure the right colors went on the right walls.I didn’t see my neighbors. I stopped by the store.
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