"I stopped talking and we fucked for a few minutes, slowly and lovingly, and it was one of the few times that I fucked Martha while not watching her; nestling my face into her neck while I moved, I listened to her breathing. When the pleasure mounted beyond more than lazy, affectionate probing, I would stop. She would ask a question or make a comment and I would start talking again.She asked me what I wanted to do, who I wanted to be. I told her there were so many things I wanted to do, I didn't know where to s tart. She asked me to describe the person I yearned to be. I expended so much time and so many words trying to explain it that she asked me to give a name, the name of someone I knew who mirrored what I thought I wanted to be. I mentioned Gregory Peck.She laughed aloud and said, "But, hon, don't you see? You were describing someone else, not yourself." She raised my head and looked at me, laughing, "Tell me about *you*. You inside. Forget what other people are!"She wanted me to. The symptoms started to appear very shortly after she started eating. The guard hit the panic button when it became obvious that she was having a problem. I arrived with the Doc to find her clutching at her throat with one hand and her belly with the other. The Doc took her pulse. "It's racing like anything," she said. Rachel was coughing saying she couldn't swallow, that she had cramping pains in her stomach, that she was finding it hard to breath. She lost control of her bowels. She was groaning in a mixture of pain and terror, staring wildly around her trying to understand what was happening to her."Help me, I'm dying," she gasped. "It's all going — awwkkgh — so black. I can't..."The Doc turned to the guard. "Get my bag," she said, "Quickly! It's in my office." I'm not supposed to leave her," he said."Do it, or you'll have to explain to Clegg why we've lost her," she barked. Sheepishly the guard padded off."What do you think's happening?" I said."It looks like anaphylactic shock,".
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