” you say in a slightly stern voice. “I can’t, it doesn’t make sense. I don’t know what’s wrong.” I lie trying to cover my irrational feelings. I really don’t know why I’ve reacted like this. I don’t know if it’s about me, about the toys, the spanking or if it’s about us. Why today and why now? “Please make love to me. I need you right now.” “No, are you out of your fucking mind. I’m not touching you until I know what’s wrong. You have to talk to me.” The thoughts in my head and the feelings in my heart are colliding. More sternly and much louder you say “Michelle! What’s wrong?” You’ve rolled off the bed and are standing at the edge. Your hands are out in front of you with your palms up as if to ask a question. I can’t respond. I’m frozen. It’s just pure and raw emotion inside me. Opening my mouth will only set off the stream of tears that I’m trying to fight back. “DAMN IT MICHELLE, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG!” The dam bursts. Yelling at me was the catalyst that caused my. . You knew and didn't want me to be jealous?"Ben laughed and declared, "Hell yes, that's what I did and you keep confusing me with Russian men! I will never do anything to make you jealous."Ben's new personal nurse said, "Now shoo and let me finish giving him his sponge bath. Your presence here is creating a problem."I unwisely questioned, "What problem is that?"She stepped aside, pointed at the tented bed and explained, "That problem. He didn't do that when it was only me in the room."I was stunned as I retreated into the hallway...Flashback – Masha – In the hallway outside Ben's room at the hospitalI tried to follow Tatiana into the room but Jack restrained me and ordered, "Masha, we need to let those two work out their own problems."I complained, "But Jack, she could really hurt that other woman."Jack replied, "Ben would never let that happen."I was sure that Jack was incorrect since he probably had an incomplete assessment of Tatiana's skills. While we argued about this, a very.
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