From a Friend of J & G.JokesRecession beater. Wife says to husband “If you start riding that new bicycle I bought for you to work, we can get rid of the second car”. He replies “If you take it up the arse and let me cum on your face, we can get rid of the nanny!”We discussed the issue for an hour with both sides of the debate having their say. Eventually we held a vote and there were five “Yes’s” and only one “No”. It was a beautiful demonstration of democracy in action. Or gang rape as the police put it.A bloke is sunbathing with nothing but a hat covering his penis. Two women walk past and one shouts “if you were a gentleman you would lift your hat to a lady!” The bloke replies “if you weren’t so ugly the hat would lift itself!”Me: “I can’t believe they’re back together after all that shit”. Wife: “Who?” Me: “My arse cheeks”“So let me get this straight” the prosecutor says to the defendant. “You came home from work early and found your wife in bed with a strange man”. “That’s. I flew over to the blaze, which burned crimson with the wet tropical wood and spewed smoke into the night air. Beneath the billowing layer of refuse and heat, I saw the chaos. The nymphs were like savages; killing, raping, and burning. They committed their atrocities with grins stitched across their faces as though the grimace was a permanent fixture to their manic portraits, their black eyes gleaming in the flame. Even the wounded and dying cackled their death throes with the mirth of the insane. “What has happened to them?” I gasped in horror. “Corruption whispered to them,” Willowbud replied solemnly, “and they listened.” “Can they be saved?”“No,” Willowbud said quietly, “she didn’t meld with them; she broke them completely. She doesn’t care about them.” “But she cares about you?” I asked, looking down at the top of her horned head. “You know Corruption, don’t you?” “She’s an old friend,” Willowbud said dryly, “and she misses me very much. Drop me on that plateau; I need to feel.
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