Q. Did you hear about the woodworker who fell into a vat of varnish?A. It was a terrible end, but a beautiful finish.I bought a dog from a blacksmith today. As soon as he got home he made a bolt for the door!A blond is walking down the street with one tit hanging out. A cop stops her and says, “Look darling, as pretty a picture as it makes, you’re going to have to put that away. I could cite you for indecent exposure.”“Why?” says the blond.“Your tit is hanging out!” replies the cop, astounded.The blond looks down and says “Oh, shit! I left the baby on the bus again!”A man’s been through a rough patch of health, and the docs can’t work out what’s wrong. After he’s baffled the final expert, his doctor turns to him and says, “We can’t work out why this is happening, but you’re probably going to die in the next three months. What you can do is cut out all fatty and spicy food. Get rid of alcohol, cigarettes, coffee, tea, and any other drugs. take walks every day, but make sure you don’t. "After that incident, your mother was never the same. She seemed to have aged two years, overnight. She never cracked jokes, and was not easily made to laugh. She spent every waking hour going through old texts, and exploring promising sites. She seemed driven to redeem her reputation as an anthropologist."A week after the incident, she went in for her monthly insemination, and got pregnant with you, Lissa. Even being an expectant mother didn't slow her research, which included expeditions to primitive, unexplored islands. Many, including myself, feared that she would lose the baby. There was even talk about giving her a leave of absence until the baby was born. It was pointed out though that that would not even slow her down."She gave birth to you two months after her impregnation. No complications, thank God."I got pregnant a week after Frissa did. But unlike her, I slowed down and took care of myself. My baby, as you know, was male. I heard him gasp for breath when the doctor.
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