”The next few nights it was difficult to sleep. Back home in my own bed, I would lay awake and think about what she had said and wondered what it would be like to be with a man. My cock bounced and throbbed as I ran my hands down my chest, around my cock and along my inner thighs. I imagined they were Darren’s. Then I imagined him sucking me, having his hands stroke me and making me cum. I even imagined sucking him, too. The next Saturday, I went to Kara’s. Her complex had a pool and we arranged to spend the day in the sun and swimming. Without me knowing, Kara had invited Darren also, and I felt embarrassed when I saw him. Even though they had no idea I had been fantasizing about him, I knew. Once at the pool, Darren got in the water to cool off. It was hard not to notice his body. He had six pack abs and wore a tiny little swimsuit that left little to the imagination. I felt like Kara was watching me to see if I was watching him. Something about the sun makes me so horny. Mix in. But I was too scared to do anything about it. Not that my mom would besome kind of monster, I'm sure she would come around to the idea, butI've looked up the stats. For every girl like Jazz Jennings, there aredozens, maybe hundreds who arent as lucky.It can get pretty bad out there for trans folks. And even though Canadais better than some places in the world, doesnt mean there is no riskof really bad stuff happening to me.So there I was, between a rock and a hard place, too scared to try andbe a girl, too scared to even say that's what I wanted, yet knowing ifI didnt do something, and soon, I'd look less and less like a girl andtransitioning, assuming I found the courage to, would be that muchharder, maybe even impossible.Then things changed.My mom got called into work this morning, even though it was aSaturday, and decided I was old enough to not burn the house down whileshe was gone, so I was on my own for a while.I puttered around on my computer for a bit, got bored with it and.
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