Despite that, a re-emergence of these seemingly uncontrollable urges seemed to come out of nowhere. I resisted some more. Finally, I could do so no longer, and went to a gay neighborhood and quickly met someone who was looking for somebody like me.We went to his apartment, and without hesitation I undressed and went down on him. The sensation of his cock in my mouth felt strangely familiar. I wanted to experience getting fucked as well, and so I did, without preparation or lubrication; I was naive, and he was thick, and probably eight inches or so in length. While it hurt, I still managed to enjoy the sensation, but wanted to taste cum, so I had him cum in my mouth, which I swallowed and enjoyed completely.Afterward, however, I noticed two reactions: first, a sense of clarity and calm, as one experiences when a fever breaks and this desire or compulsion certainly was feverish. Secondly, and doubtless more typically, a sense of self-loathing, feeling dirty, soiled, used, and so on. I. If you've never worn them, walking in high heels is difficult on a smooth surface, and while the bike path is blacktop, it still has the customary cracks and unevenness. Each step is a struggle to not fall over. Crossing the railroad tracks was the most tricky; but at least I'm no long exposed under the light.It's about midnight. The paths technically close at ten, so they should be deserted. I just have to get better at walking in these heels. That, and hope I don't run into anybody.It's slow going, but I start to get used to walking in the heels. Tiny steps.The trees are close on either side and make almost a canopy over the path until it opens up on either side. Another single lamp post lights the middle of the clearing showing a small walking bridge that goes over a tiny crick. The only way across the crick is the lit up bridge; and on that bridge in the light, are three guys shooting the shit and doing some night time fishing.I panic. Looking around I can see that there is no.
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