He told me, "That's the way a girl should please her man. I knew youcould do it."I swallowed all but a few drops which had dribbled on my chin and hekindly helped me to my feet.Leon and Pat went into the family room to watch football, but Ruby tookme by the hand and led me to the bathroom."We could both use a shower dearie," she told me.We went into the shower and she soaped up my body, which felt very goodto me.She told me, "You look so nice without that disgusting hair on yourcute body."I blushed and said, "Thank you Mistress."I guessed I might as well be glad it was all gone, since it really was. After our shower, she toweled me dry and then herself. She was beingkind to me, unlike Leon who was busy demonstrating his power over me. Ifigured that he was just trying to impress Pat, but that didn't mean hehad to humiliate me. She had me sit on the stool, and started pluckingmy eyebrows."Please don't do that Mistress, I have to go to work tomorrow."She replied, "Don't worry girl, I'm. We don't necessarily like the music, but we can't seem to do anything about it." Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?" Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do."Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me.A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife."You come to the front door of the apartment building. I am in apartment 3-1There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 3-1. I will buzz you in. Come inside and the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 3rd Floor. When you get out,I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell. OK?" Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?"What, You're coming empty handed?"An old Italian man in Brooklyn is dying. He calls.
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