14. I've reached the age where 'happy hour' is a nap.15. Be careful about reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like it.16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.17. Do you realize that, in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?18. Money can't buy happiness, but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Cadillac than in a Chevy.19. After 65, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you're probably dead.20. Always be yourself because the people who matter don't mind and the ones who mind don't matter.21. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.And REMEMBER..."POLITICIANS AND DIAPERS SHOULD BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE SAME REASON"She hurried to the pharmacy to get medication, got back to her car and found that she had locked her keys inside.The woman found an old rusty coat hanger left on the ground. She looked at it and said, "I don't know how to use this."She bowed her head. She was invited to the senior partner’s office. She was just like all of the partners she could see – hot, overtly sexy and scary smart When she got there, the partner was still meeting with the assistant to the ambassador of Congo. Predictably, the senior partner had to excuse herself briefly — Leticia was pretty fucking smart herself so she had some thoughts on where this was going. She had a good feeling she was a shoe-in and was feeling like a member of the firm. As a dozen or so senior partners from the next room watched through one-way glass, she almost immediately struck up a conversation with the big black man in ceremonial robes. On script he worked his way up to ask if she was the girl the senior partner had promised him….”you know the girl to do the things my wife won’t do. You are far more beautiful than I had dared hope” She replied “what is the purpose of your visit today with the partner.”“We are selecting a law firm to represent us.”“If I am your girl, will this firm.
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