"No," I said. "Yes, maybe, I don't know." I then stammered. "Look It'sjust for a long time now I have been wondering what it would be like youknow to actually be with another man." I confessed lowering my head."So?" she asked me. "Is it disturbing to you to have these thoughts?"She must think that I am a complete asshole."No please that's not it. You don't understand. It's just that." I triedto finish, but let out a sigh and sat down on one of the bar stools.Alice walked over to me and put her hand on my shoulder. I looked up ather and she could see a tear in my eye. Again she smiled giving myshoulder another squeeze."I don't want to be hurt. I don't want to find out that the person who Iwas with just wanted to put another notch in his belt and brag about howhe took my virginity." I rubbed my eye and looked over at her. "I don'twant it to be about lust, about just fulfilling a desire." What about the other guy?" she asked."What do you mean?" I asked."What if you didn't like it? How do. We got engaged when we were in our first year of college, but we broke it off later.Anyway, I called Bruce up because I had to go to a wedding in Bumfuck Egypt, and wanted some company. Plus we hadn't seen each other in quite awhile.I picked him up, he lived about an hour away and we drove to the wedding. On the way there he filled me in on what had happened to Diane after the break-up. She'd gone off the deep end for maybe six months. Party girl. Smoked dope, did other drugs as well, and slept around. Evidently a lot. She'd only had sex with me before the break up. He told me about three guys that I knew that she'd screwed, and although he never said as much, I was pretty sure he'd had her as well.I felt really bad, I had no idea. He also told me about getting busted for drug possession when he was in California. Ask me about a drug, and I can tell you about it, was the way he phrased it.After the wedding we headed to the Czech Festival in a small town about 20 miles from his place..
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