When she left the shelter of her new friends' homes, she still had to return to the hell that was her own home. As she spent more and more time away, her mother's verbal attacks became more focused and intense when she was available to be abused. After a couple hours of it each night, the young girl would take refuge in drugs to purge her mind of the hate and pain. They enabled her to tune her mother out, and look forward to the coming morning when she would physically escape again. She was also beginning to use coke during the day when she could get it, trying to sustain her mental "up" feelings into more of her waking hours.The combination of her secret drug use that she hid from her new friends, and her mother's continued bombardment of her psyche, set within her a sense of unworthiness that she could not shake. Inside, she felt she did not deserve to be happy.In spite of all evidence to the contrary, she saw Bobby's resistance to her romantic advances as just another confirmation. ” Remembering that part of the conversation was working to get her mind in a much more pliable and naughty place, so the next part was easier.“The next day was normal. I had breakfast. My roommate goes before I do so i did not see them. I went to work.” Continuing to play with herself, she felt both awkward and a bit weird, but she did not stop.“After work, um, I made dinner and watched tv. Oh, I tried to find someone online but didn’t”“Oh yeah, they tried to ‘dare’ me, like before, but since we weren’t playing and stuff, I told them it wouldn’t work. Not sure they understood”.> > : “They asked you a dare?”“Yeah like when they dared me to drop the blanket again”. Talia did not tell them they had also dared her to stay naked the rest of that night, she was not sure why, she just felt like keeping it to herself.> > : “Oh, well you should have. You are a slut after all!”“I. but, just with, you, and you know, like this”> > : “Hmm, maybe, I will have to think about this. Not sure I like my.
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