I would not force her hand. * Scared and frightened were, to say the least, how I felt. With all I had been through I'd come too far to let some savage man-beast take me away. He was jabbering on in a language I didn't understand and kept trying to help me up. I was in a state of shock. He came out of nowhere and killed four men who were going to do God knows what to me, for what? Did he think that meant he owned me? Who did he think he was? Watching four lunatics kill my husband, a man I hardly knew, in a country that wasn't my own, was not where I thought my life would lead me. My mother told me “Elsie, he's a good man, a man who will give you a better life, a safer life than you can get here. The world is changing and you need to change with it. You're young and pretty and educated, take this chance.” She said that as if I had a choice in the matter. She and my father had pre-arranged this marriage with this man, without my consent. I knew it was going to happen eventually, as it. That would have been a disaster. Instead, I was to play a make-believe role, and carefully draw him in until I could ‘confess’ my unrequited love. If this sounds like a complex form of deceit fraught with the risk of exposure, I assure you it is anything but that. It’s just easier and more pleasant for him to believe the lies and take his prize to bed in the end. Of course, I’d rather they not recognize the lies, and so have developed a script that is really convincing. I keep this script in my laptop (no more scribbling in notebooks). I also always spend some time considering each client individually, I read over the lines and consider which ones I might use and how. Even some high-priced escorts don’t bother with the mental games, but I don’t see how they can afford not to try. If a common stripper can flatter one stranger after another, I could do much better. Besides, wealthy clients give great tips. One guy once gave me five million yen and said don’t spend it all on clothes. I.
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