I breathed a sigh of relief. Debbie and Dolly were soon to become my permanent guest hosts.Wednesday was a tough day. For everyone. After I'd struggled through my eggnog recipes, I finally left the studio and walked toward the River. It was cold, but at least it had been a dry week so far. There was a bit of sun and when I reached the gravel path, I took off my shoes, even though I was going to freeze my toes off. This was Lexi's birthday. She would have been twenty years old.Last February, when Denise would have been twenty-one, I was so overwhelmed by my rage that I broke a railroad tie. I hadn't noticed any flaws in the tie in the two years that I'd been beating on it, but obviously it must have had a weak spot. I certainly couldn't break a railroad tie with my fist. That was just stupid.But as I walked on the gravel path toward Lexi's final resting place, I was a lot calmer than I'd been nearly a year ago. I was ... more mature? I don't know. I didn't feel bottled up. My rage—my. I guess this is the end of my diary for this week. I hope that I have a better week this time. I hope someone finds this. I am far too embarrassed to talk to anyone.Now that I am done, I guess I must go to school now. I am fully ready, my clothes are neat. Now it is time to eat.It has been two days now and the boys have not bothered me since. All the girls still avoid me, but some are starting to acknowledge my existence. I am about to go to the locker room. It is empty and for that, I am glad. I feel very embarrassed to be seen naked. I begin to undress when I hear footsteps behind me. I try to redress and face the person behind me, but the person pushes me against the locker and turns me around. It is the school prostitute, the loose girl. But, she only messes around with boys, why is she bothering me? It is not like I have done anything that she does. She can have all of the boys if she wants. She keeps me against the locker with one hand while her other hand… .
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