And no, he didn’t go willingly. It seemed as though he had fought it for years and years with tooth and nail flying about this way and that. It was the worst kind of abuse. But he knew he had to give up. It was like a red hot poker that had been jabbed into his most loving centers, purifying desires so relentless that they would have surely killed him if he continued. And in their place remained the vapid air that hung without any sympathy or remorse, without any righteous praise or compliment. Just this heavy air that takes silence as its partner, an air so empty that his weak body could only stand listless as the slow death of maturity had finally found him. It gave birth to a darkness that drowned the room, the appliances in the kitchen dead and obsolete, the furniture layered with dust. And he had many hours to go before morning. He hoped the sunlight would at least make him forget all about it, forget that he ever desired a woman in the first place. He crawled into bed and. "I said, "My plan was to get rid of everything that we could." Like what?" Everything that was costing us money ... the house, cars, phones, entertainment ... I was going to get rid of everything. I was planning on downsizing in a major way," I answered."My wife would kill me if I suggested doing that."My wife had been furious when I had laid out my plan to her. Everything that I said we needed to cut, she said was a necessity. Everyone absolutely had to have a cell phone because in the modern world a cell phone was a necessity. Life without cable television wouldn't be worth living. She didn't like the idea of having to drive a compact car when the lease on her SUV expired. She refused to sell the house because the children needed the educational benefits provided by the schools in our neighborhood.My wife wasn't too thrilled about my suggestion that we sell off our son's car. She felt that he would be severely damaged emotionally if he had to ride his old bicycle to high school when.
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