I just let the water wash away all the pain and tears, not leaving the shower for a good forty five minutes. I got dressed and brushed my teeth, staring at myself in the mirror. Why do you do this to me? Why do you destroy everything I love? I kept thinking about it. I walked out and drove back to my place in silence. That night I called her. She didn't answer until the last second. "Hello?" "Lucy, it's me... About last night, I-" "I've got to go Kevin, someone just knocked at my door. Sorry." Great. It wasn't just my imagination. She was ignoring me. Over the next few days I kept calling and she kept making up excuses for why she couldn't talk. I couldn't sleep at night thinking about her. My appetite was all but gone, and I hated myself. Slowly I stopped myself from thinking about it. but it was always in the back of my mind. Two months later I decided I would just write her a note and leave it on her door. She wanted nothing to do with me, but I at least wanted closure. I wrote. She had subsequently discovered thatonce in the school the only way to leave was to complete the training. Thatincluded demonstrating an attitude acceptable to both the staff and the manwho was responsible for her. She had earned her way out; now she had the jobof teaching others how to accomplish the same thing. "Yes, there's no regulation about staff mixing. You are subject to all thesame policies and regulations as the students while there, don't forget that.You aren't allowed to use my name, or address any other warden you might knowby name either. If you break a rule or get in trouble over there I can't helpyou." Cathy nodded in agreement. "We covered that in the orientation yesterday.I have to be escorted everywhere, same lack of dress code, but between assignmentsI can wait in the break room. I can't be released from the secure area withoutyour permission either. Either you or someone you designate has to bring meback to this side." At least she wouldn't have to stay there at.
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