My voice is too deep. The hair where I need it is missing.I need to put makeup and look pretty, not like someone whois trying to pass. And if I try to pass I might get beat upby someone who believes he is a ?real? man. Or I might justbe lucky enough just to get a snide remark. I need to bewith woman as a woman, not a freak. And if I need to go tothe restroom in a public place it is with a sister or agirlfriend. I need to be with a man as his woman and knowthat he is or will be the father of my babies.I feel that hurt and anger. It is because I was born withthat genetic defect that said I should be playing with gunsand trucks instead of dolls and jewelry. Part of me neededto rebel and wear that dress but part of me said not tohurt anyone else so be what I appear to be even though thatgenetic defect eventually changed me in ways that wasdifferent from what I would have liked my body to change.I also feel the hurt and anger of others. Some of usconstantly lash out way out of proportion. That was it I thought she does have a kinky side and its not been exploited……very typical of a malayali female. I guess its the educational background and they are normal humans too. From then on I started getting more friendlier with her. MY lucky day finally arrived when I was told to drop her off at her home oneday. We were cruising along the motorway listening to the radio and there was a programme on BBC – the so called agony aunt thing where people seek help from an expert on their sexual problems including infidelity and so on. Seizing the oppurtunity i said that the answers to theses questions are obvious but people need someone to tell them that. I continued citing the reason – sex when done properly gives man and woman the greatest physical pleasure and if one has actually experienced it they will want more. To strengthen that statement I quoted what a white lady told me before I got married – “If you satisfy your wife in bed she will never leave” and commining from a white.
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