It's a new millennium, after all.The only problem was, he was also a liar, a cheat, and a bastard. It got to the point where all I wanted was his cock, and as I never knew where else it had been, I couldn't enjoy it properly. After all, if he was just going to be a stand up vibrator, I'd make do with a battery one. Or my right hand. I needed more than something to hang my twat on. So I threw him out. Gave him the fuck of his life, took his key off him, and handed him his suitcase, already packed, and told him to take his now drooping best part, stick it back in his pants, and go and find a less picky girlfriend. Or a sheep, for all I cared.Did I miss him? Of course I did, late at night, or early on a cold morning, or any time there was a thunderstorm. He had a special thing with lightening strikes. I can still come from listening to thunder.I suppose you think all I think about is sex? No, I have to work, and I like other nice things too. Anyway, I got my life back together, bought a. "Just the right combination of naughty and nice."There was a very sexy depth to her timbre that told me exactly what she had meant by that."I — I don't do girls," I stammered and shook my head. The whole thing still seemed much too unreal. "Anyway, aren't you a little old for this?" Do I look too old?" she asked. She stood in front of me, her legs spread, and slowly pulled the bow on her top. It fluttered slowly to the ground. Her figure was flawless. Her breasts were magnificent, like those of a particularly well-endowed eighteen-year-old girl who never found time to study the law of gravity. "I keep in pretty good shape. Jazzercise, yoga, reindeer games. What's a couple of hundred years, after all?"I was still powerless to move as she pushed my knees apart and knelt between my thighs. Delicate fingers, their nails the same color red as her lips, carefully teased apart the buttons on the flannel shirt."Look, bitch," I said. "I told you, I don't do girls." No? That's not what my list.
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