’ I nodded, understanding. ‘To start a business,’ I said. Ian gave me a funny smile, touched my face. ‘Maybe that’s why I . . . you remind me so much of her, the way she used to be,’ he said. ‘But in so many ways, you’re . . . different. Better.’ I touched Ian’s leg. ‘It was Cleo, wasn’t it?’ I asked. Ian nodded slowly. ‘Yes, it was.’ He touched my face, smiling upon me with such affection that I couldn’t think of anything to say. ‘I may have been around the world more than once,’ he said. ‘But I’ve only been in love three times. I’ve had my heart broken twice. I don’t . . . I don’t think I can handle a third time.’ I swallowed my emotions, tried to stay calm. ‘Who broke your heart, Ian?’ I asked, feeling the film of tears on my eyes, despite my efforts. His eyes were dark and steady, yet I could see the conflict behind them, the pain. ‘My wife,’ he said. ‘When she didn’t care enough to hate me. And Cleo, when she didn’t love me enough to ask me to leave.’ ‘A-and the third?’ I asked,. Are you committed to Milena? Or Kristin? Or Sandy?”“This is different,” I replied.“Why?”“Because I have no intention of marrying them or even considering marriage with them.”“How does that even make sense? You’ll go to bed with girls who you won’t marry but not with the ones you might?”I nodded, “As odd as that sounds, it’s more or less where I’ve found myself.”“Tasha, Maggie, and me?”“I really shouldn’t comment on that, but as you know, or guessed about the others, yes.”“May I ask a VERY personal question?”“Go on.”“Your choice? Or theirs?”“It’s not cut and dried. The desire is there, but the decision was to wait for much the same reason as I just gave — the commitment.”“From their perspective or yours?”“Both, really. And I want to remind you of how you thought about that before. And I’m not talking about the mental or emotional block, but your view on pre-marital sex.”“I don’t know that I can separate the two.”“Sure you can,” I replied. “You told me, to simplify it, that fooling.
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