”I nodded. “I can’t begin to describe how pathetic it is that my mother needs to be brought to task like this,” I said. I took a moment to shake it off and then went upstairs to see the girls.I knocked on Beck’s door and waited for her to answer. She gave me a sad smile and I wrapped her up in a hug. I couldn’t hate her. As much harm as she’d done to me, she was my best friend, or had been. I still had no idea what she was to me any more.“How’re you doing?” I asked, sitting down on the foot of her bed to talk.“A little better,” she admitted. “I dunno. I don’t feel like hurting myself, but I still feel like I deserve it, you know?”I nodded. “When I felt like that, I concentrated on fighting that feeling because of you and the other girls. I knew that it would end my pain, but the pain wouldn’t go away. It would just multiply and move to you four.”She nodded. “Yeah. I know if I killed myself, I’d only be hurting you and I don’t want to do that any more. I’m really sorry for everything I. I made the corrections and submitted my work of art that very night. For the first time, in a long time, I felt pretty good about what I’d done. When it was posted and I read the reviews and e-mails I had an epiphany. There is no way on this fucking earth that I was going to please everyone. Spelling and grammar were no longer the issue. If I was writing about a cheating wife and the husband reconciled with her, I was an idiot for letting the husband take her back, even though in real life that happens in about sixty five percent of the cases. ‘She’s just going to cheat on him again,’ were fifty percent of the comments. ‘Toss the bitch to the curb,’ became the only real solution that mattered. When I did, as they say, ‘toss the bitch to the curb and got my revenge,’ I was a hero but only to a point. In a few of my stories the husband or boy friend took it to the next level and got way more than his pound of flesh. I was then an asshole or demented for making the husband unlikeable,.
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