The drive home was hell. Once again the world had shit on my life. I had let it in, and it all came crashing down around me. I wondered briefly, when I was crossing a bridge, what it would be like to just turn the wheel and find the bottom of the gorge. It had an appeal. One didn’t feel pain in the grave. I let the thought wander away. I did not fear death, but had a healthy respect for dying. Knowing my luck, I would wake up in the hospital missing my arms and legs. I purposely drove into the night. I wanted to put many miles between Phoenix and me. It didn’t eliminate the pain, but at least it felt like I was accomplishing something. I tried in vain to think of my art. Something that was so simple for me before, became a burden. I had to force the colors and they never felt right. Anger and disappointment were overshadowing my thoughts and my art was suffering. I didn’t like myself anymore. I was home for five days and hadn’t even entered the workshop. The river flowed without. ”“Trust me; we deal with mental illnesses every day. We’re well aware of the tremendous costs involved and our limited abilities to help. If you can allow us to become more productive, we’re all in.”“Good, I’m hoping everyone else will be as easy to convince.”“Trust me, you’ll be surprised. You’re the rock star of psychiatry. What’s more, our clients think you can better relate to what they experience than our university-trained doctors.”“Well, that part is probably true. I questioned my sanity for much of the time, while witnessing the causes and effects. I can sympathize and recognize the symptoms for what they are.”“Well, I know you’re busy and I’ve got a clinic of my own to run, though I’m looking forward to working with you in the coming weeks.”‘Well,’ Phil thought after they hung up, ‘one down and another thirty-some to go.’Toni entered the baggage claim area, breaking into a smile when she saw her father.“Dad!” she exclaimed, rushing forward and throwing her arms around him.He.
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