These are my feelings -- my mixed emotions -- both for her, and about finally going 'all the way' with her:I thought of you today after the lovely lunch we sharedThe way you looked, and all the things you saidWhen you urged me yet again to take our friendship all the wayAnd share the scintillating splendor of two women together in bed.We've been friends for so long, and yet I never knewThis side of you, that you've finally let me see:Your appetite for carnal knowledge of women who like women,And how long you've nurtured sweet, forbidden feelings for me!How well I remember that night alone in bedAfter your startling and provocative revelation:First my heart and mind and soul, and then my roaming fingersSuccumbing in sweet surrender to my soaring imagination!And every night thereafter, in auto-erotic euphoria,Biting my lip, and crying out your name,On my back upon my bed, with my legs spread far apart,Sacrificing without shame to the ever-quickening flame!How quickly I became. I could have had him begging and agreeing toany demand I might have cared to make of him. Maybe I wasn't quite as"straight" as I had always thought!When I returned to the living room, Alec had recovered and put hisclothing back in order. "I'm sorry I wasn't able to do more for you," Iapologised."No," he responded, "it was my fault. I promised you I would push youbeyond where you were willing to go but as soon as you gave me thesmallest sign of encouragement, I just couldn't stop myself." I do understand," I replied. "It was by the smallest margin that Istopped myself from letting you go the whole way and I know I would havehated you for it afterwards." I think I should be going now. Thank you for a lovely evening; I'm justsorry I spoilt it at the last minute." By now I was on the verge of tearsand Alec hastened to reassure me that everything was OK and that forsomeone having their first experience of any form of gay sex, I had givenhim a lot of pleasure. "I won't pressure you into.
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