I was at my boyfriends place getting ready for work. While taking a hot shower my pussy started to get excited as I rubbed soap all over my body. I let the stream of water massage my clit as I gently rubbed my tits and ass. My ass hole was extra slippery from the soap and begged for my attention. I slowly slipped my middle finger tip into my willing ass, my hole dilated rapidly as I worked the finger deeper and deeper into my ass. Before I knew it my entire finger was buried inside my tight little hole. I started to ass fuck myself faster and faster as I grinded the shower massager into my pussy. My finger fucking felt so good that I decided to shove my index finger inside my ass too! I could not stand it, I need my boyfriends cock and I needed it fast. I got out of the shower and headed straight for my boyfriend who was studying in his bedroom. My body and my pussy were dripping wet as I embraced him from behind and opened his fly. Instantly his cock began to grow as I kissed his. First, my therapist suggested it. He called it a 'project' to help me work my feelings out about things. Whatever, I will give it a shot.And for my kids, not just for me. I need to be whole for them.In losing Anita, I seem to have also lost myself. I mean, I'm a proud guy. I've always been the one others call when they have problems. I was in the Navy and did two deployments to Iraq, so I'm not a crybaby, I'm a realist. The diagnosis was made, and we sought treatment. We did all we could, but cancer is an invitation to the other side to which, in most cases, the RSVP can not be withdrawn.Nothing motivates me now. It's as if I'm on autopilot, and everything I do is just part of my programming. I haven't even gone back to work yet. It'd probably help me to keep busy, but I can only think of my precious wife and how much I miss her just being here.Those few seconds in the morning when I first wake up, are the only peace I get.Until I remember...Journal Entry Number Two:Anita came to me.
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