" She left; her door slam rattling the sitting room windows and bringing down some plaster in the hall.I was so depressed and distraught I would have shot myself had I a hand gun on the premises. It's always the bloody same; there's never a pistol handy when you need one.I collapsed into an armchair in the sitting room, and then noticed a damp patch on the carpet where Annamarie had leaked love juice moments before my erection disappeared. The question mark shaped stain caused me to contemplate what the rest of my life would be like. I could be facing another 30 years of impotence; with all the frustration, depression, disappointment and humiliation which accompanies the condition.I suppose it was that moment of startling clarity of how my future would be which was the genesis for my decision to end it all, although at the time I hadn't consciously contemplated suicide.An interlude of introspection.When did I lose my soul? When did those elements of my character, which make me who I. Cindy said 'but how will you get her to fuck you'I told her to leave that to me.Later that afternoon after Cindy had gone back to her parents van I waited around not far from their van on the path to the amenity block.Sure enough a bit after 4pm the mother was walking my way. I pretended to come out of another van as she walked by.I said hello and she said hello back and looked me up and dowm as I only had my swim shorts on. I told her I hadn't seen her around but she told me she had been out a lot while camping her.I said "yes i saw you down the beach today"Her head swung around fast and she said " you saw me naked" yes" I said " and thought you had a hot body, and looked like you enjoyed more than one cock'Her head dropped down a little and she looked at my bulge developing in my shorts.She said " looks like I turned you on'I pointed to my cabin and said why don't you join me, you can have a shower in my cabin.She stared at me for a few moments and said 'why not'When we went inside.
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