"I would have killed my self if Father Torque hadn't stepped in." Ben continued. When he mentioned his mentor's name, pride and sadness crept into his voice. "Even back then he was still called Father Torque, the man was born old." Ben spent a moment lost in nostalgia, then continued. "Anyway, he was so impressed with my stubbornness he bought me a drink. He gave me a shot to join the Polecats, which I took. I failed the initiation test the first three times, but I was so damn stubborn," You still are "I kept at it until they let me in."Lara studied Ben's face. It was good to see him relaxed. His jaw wasn't clenched and his eyes weren't squinting. It made him look younger, better. "What sort of test?" she asked. Ben looked up at her, met her gaze with his own. Even relaxed, his eyes were intense, so full of purpose. She couldn't help but be lost in those eyes."The Old Mine Road." His voice was absent, distracted. For an eternal moment they just looked at each other, then Ben looked. Consequently, we clicked, desultorily.A consequence is when one thing leads to another. Which, on and ever on through that long night and longer Christmas, it did.She invited me to her pleasant flat on Strassburgeralle, about a mile from the city centre. I spent Christmas Day there, and we to be fair we were temporarily well matched, not least because she too had cast herself adrift. Scrooge and Scroogette, we ignored festivity for carnality, but there was no magic in the practice of that, for her or for me. Looking back, it was as though sex was our way of telling the world, as individuals rather than as a couple, to go stuff itself.The periods in-between copulation were punctuated by little of value - forced caresses, faked intimacy, arid conversation. Occasional moments of shared self-pity.By Boxing Day, she'd wanted me to move in. That was an awful prospect, and I couldn't seriously consider it, but I was too cowardly to cut the thin string that bound her to me, convincing myself.
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